The Golden Age of Sex Ed

Y ou never know you are living through a Golden Age until it is over.
When I was attending Name-of-dead-obscure-white-guy Junior High School, I had no clue that this was as good as it would get. After all, our Health Ed teacher looked looked like he had been dropped kicked into the 70's from twenty years before-- he was a pasty-faced nerd in a white shirt and black bow tie, for goodness sakes. And when we happened to meet him in the halls, he couldn't look us in the face. But he taught us everything we needed to know.

We learned that if that ooky white stuff from a guy's thingy got anywhere near a girl's wha-hoo, she could get pregnant--even if they were just petting, even if it was the first time!-- and she might give birth to a ten pound bag of flour, or something like that. But we could prevent this from happening. The girls could take pills, and the boys could wear a rubber.

Not only that, but we learned that rubbers were good for other reasons. Birth control pills couldn't stop a person from getting those horrible STDs, some of which could last forever, but a rubber could. In some high schools, they actually handed out free condoms in the hope that a few unplanned pregnancies might be prevented, a few kids saved from a lifetime of herpes.

Sadly, in many states the kids taking Sex Ed today don't get this information anymore, even though we now have an STD that doesn't just last last forever, it kills you and cuts your "forever" too short. Instead what the present White House administration is pushing, is "abstinence-only" sex-ed. This year President Bush is asking for $270 million to fund abstinence-only programs such as Youth For Christ. It is easy to see this doesn't work, just look at the President's own state, Texas.

In the Great State of Texas it is against the law for public schools to teach about the effectiveness of contraceptives . And wouldn't that make for a great "Cops" episode!

Scene: Pasty-faced Sex Ed teacher holding up a rubber-clad banana in front of the classroom.
Two husky, black-clad police officers burst through the door and land in approved shooting stance with weapons trained on the teacher.
Officer 1: Stop! Throw down that condom!

Since they aren't teaching about contraceptives in the schools, it is up to the parents and the churches. One minister in Lubbock, who likes to compare sex partners to dirty toothbrushes ("You wouldn't put this in your mouth-- you don't know where it has been,") preaches to his young flock about the dangers of using condoms. Condoms-- and this may come as a surprise to public health officials-- are full of holes because they are made of latex. Latex is woven, so there are tiny spaces in between strands. The shaken youth sign virginity pledges and receive promise rings from their parents.

But the sex drive in young men is mighty; mightier than the fear of contracting AIDs or making a baby, mightier than the fear of the wrath of God or parents. Which means the "Virginity pledge" is easily broken. But those who fall off the band wagon don't bother with condoms, why should they? They have been assured that condoms don't work. Does it surprise you to learn that the Great State of Texas has one of the highest rate of teenage pregnancies and STDs of all fifty states?

I am willing to bet that more young girls have been saved from unwanted pregnancies and more young boys have been saved from syphilis by using condoms than have ever been saved by signing "Virginity Pledges." And really, do we want to gamble with the health and future of our children?