Pop Quiz

It's time to see if you have been paying attention. Pencils ready? Good, you may begin.

1.Laura Jane is a blog about:
a) a transgendered monk living in Peru.
b) a hungry, hungry hippo.
c) a mountain biker who hopes to be the first to bike to the top of Mount Everest.
d) a personal, sometimes whimsical, look at politics, religion, pop-culture and modern life.

2. Sloth and Gluttony are:
a) the names of my pets.
b) the names of my old boyfriends.
c) a line of clothing I once tried to market.
d) two sins that don't make news headlines as often as sex.

3. Besides Fanny the Bulldog and Mick the Cat, I have:
a) a gerbil who has lost the will to live.
b) a five-toed sloth named Slooooowly.
c) a bad Cocopuff habit.
d) a boyfriend named Dave.

4. My first entry was entitled "Fanny's Healing:
a) Oil" which she will sell you for $20.00 an ounce.
b) Snore" which will soothe you to sleep.
c) Aroma" which will clear up your sinuses.
d) Butt" with which I hope to heal the nation.

5. My Health Education teacher in Junior High was:
a) a monkey who handed out bananas.
b) the wood shop teacher who also taught physics and Introduction to the Poetry of John Dunne.
c) a hungry, hungry hippo.
d) a pasty-faced nerd who taught us everything we needed to know.

6. When I was a child my mother decorated our kitchen with:
a) macrame pot holders, rugs, curtains, dishes, and woks.
b) dancing car mechanics.
c) a strange "bathroom" motif.
d) Green 'N Gold Daisy contact paper.

7. I am very thankful that I will never have to eat:
a) a buffalo head.
b) four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie.
c) another piece of Godiva chocolate.
d) another bite of Tuna Noodle Casserole or Jello Surprise ever again.

8. Mick's so-called "Tuffets of Hair" is really:
a) his CIA operative name.
b) a very strange video game that he invented but that never caught on.
c) his special Mardi Gras wig.
d) his fat stomach.

9. Fanny the bulldog takes a proprietary interest in:
a) mold growing in my refrigerator in the shape of Bette Midler.
b) my ever growing collection of "special" Capt'n Crunch cereal boxes.
c) anthropologists camped out in our backyard.
d) 6 mischievous kittens that live in the house on the corner.

10. The first Christmas present I gave my parents was:
a) a bad cold.
b) a can of corn.
c) a signed affidavit swearing I would never, ever put them in the Old Folks Home.
d) a red candle in a white ceramic holder.

Ok Pencils down. How did you do?

100%: I live for every pearl of wisdom dropped from the keyboard of Laura Jane.
80%: I sometimes check in when I have nothing better to do.
60%: I'm not sure how I got here.
40%: This is sooo not funny.
20%: May I have a refund please.