Sticker Shock

As a young, innocent student of biology back in the 70s, I knew that there were people called "Creationists" but I thought they had been marginalized along with the Flat Earth Society members and those who believed that the moon landing was a NASA hoax. But the Creationists never really went away. Recently, in fact, they have become more vocal and more powerful politically. They have a new, $25 million museum, their own magazines and even an amusement park where kids can learn the "truth" about how old the Grand Canyon is. Recently the Cobb County, Georgia School Board created stickers to be used inside school textbooks which state:

This textbook contains material on Evolution
Evolution is a theory, not a fact, regarding the origin of living things.
This material should be approached with an open mind,
studied carefully and critically considered.

These stickers have been showing up everywhere including stuck on an 8 foot tall inflatable Barney the dinosaur at a little girl's birthday party. The stickers are also showing up on museum displays and in science books for sale at a bookstore.

So I was thinking what if this became a national trend? What if individuals were allowed to put stickers on things they don't actually own? Perhaps we would get to see some other opinions expressed.

Found on People, US, or InStyle Magazines:

This magazine reports on the vain, shallow lifestyle
of celebrities. These lifestyle choices should be read with caution
and in no way should be used as measuring sticks
by which to assess your lifestyle.

Found on the covers of all books by Ann Coulter:

This book contains the shrill, poisonous rantings of a woman
who would like to shock you in order to rake in some of the filthy lucre
as earned by Rush Limbaugh.

Found on the Simpsons DVDs

The theory that memorizing lines from this show
will make you seem funny is questionable. In reality you won't seem any funnier than you are now

Found on $200 Nike Athletic Shoes

The idea that these shoes will make you run faster,
jump higher, or perform better in any way is questionable.
The idea that you need to wear $200 shoes to walk your dog
is very questionable.

Found on a bag of birdseed:

This bag of seed is only bird seed in theory.
Chances are you just spent $5.00 to feed those cunning, evil squirrels.

Found on boxes of Tabasco flavored Cheez-Its:

This box contains only empty carbohydrates.
Although it is very tasty and scrumptious and possibly the
BEST SNACK IN THE WORLD
Maybe you should back away from the box and go eat some fruit.

And so, following my advice, I will now go eat some fruit.