Reception At A Glance

Gift Most Likely To Be Consumed: A six pack of beer.

Gift Most Likely Not To Be Consumed: An ominously large bulb from our gardening neighbors. Could be a Voodoo Lily, could be a Crinum, could be a rare, carnivorous jungle plant from Mars.

Gift That Will Be Hotly Debated, Discussed and Obsessed Over: $50.00 gift certificate to Amazon.com.

Most Weirdly Clairvoyant Gift: Candlesticks. Just the week before, Dave and I had been eating dinner by candlelight and wondering why, after 5 years of such dinners, we were still using cracked plant pots, overturned bowls and tin cans in place of real candlesticks.

Number of Frilly Toothpicks: Zero.

Number of Cats Who Slept Through The Whole Reception One.

Amount of Leftover Unbelievably Tasty Blue Cheese-and-Walnut-Stuffed-Mushrooms in Pastry: None.

Amount of Leftover Cubes of Meat and Cheese: About 5 pounds worth.

Probability We Will Be Eating Ham, Turkey, Swiss, Provolone, and Cheddar Cheese in Some Form or Another Every Day For a Month: Very high.

Award For the Best Behaved Bulldog Named Fanny: Fanny wins by a nose. She stayed outside for most of the party, just waiting patiently by the back door and completely ignoring her bribe bones. When the party hit a lull, we let her in and she made two complete circles of the room greeting each guest. Then she thoughtfully brought in the three bones and ate them in the middle of the room so that we could all enjoy them vicariously.

Award For the Loveliest Daughter of the Bride: Gwen wins this easily. And without any bribe bones!

Award For the State With the Best Weather During a Wedding Reception in January: North Carolina. You just can't beat 70 degrees with clear blue skies.