Aaaannnnd They'rrrrre Off!

We've all had a nice three month vacation from Presidential campaigning, but I hope you are rested and ready to get back to work because it is time to:

Handicap the 2008 Playas

Category 1: Best Residence
a) Live on a farm in Texas but call it a ranch. (If this makes no difference to you, you are not a Texan.)
b) Live in the Governor's mansion but smoke in your tent.
c) Live in the Governor's mansion but stay in a double wide trailer while the mansion is undergoing renovations.

Answer:
a) You gotta hand it to President Bush, you keep telling people you live on a ranch and most people will believe you. Even if you really live on a farm when on vacation from the White House. Texas "Ranch"...10 points.

b) The Governor's mansion is the perfect place to live if you want to be elected president. Unfortunately while Governor Schwarzenegger might have the cigar smokers vote sewn up, he may have alienated those who think that erecting a very expensive tent outside your office just so you can smoke on the job while signing legislation outlawing smoking in all California prisons is elitist and hypocritical. On the other hand at least he isn't pretending he doesn't have enough power and wealth to do this. Elitism...-5 points Non-posturing...8 points Total...3 points.

c)Wow. Is this genius or what? Living in the Governor's mansion AND a trailer at the same time. Power plus "Good ol Boy" Americanism...20 points.


Category: Best Wife
a) Marry a pretty, unassuming wife with no political viewpoints who bakes one heck of a chocolate chip cookie.
b) Marry a beautiful newswoman who just happens to be related to John F. Kennedy.
c) Marry a woman who not only stays married to you but lets you remarry her with new and improved marriage vows in a $65,000. service held in a sports arena.

Answers:
a)Laura Bush seems like the perfect First Lady except she's a little dull. She doesn't have the style of Jackie, the brains of Hillary or the hominess of Barbara. Nice 'N Dull...10 points.

b) America loves a Kennedy. Bonus points for beauty and opposing political viewpoints. Kennedy connection...20 points. Beauty...5 points. Democratic background..5 points. Total...30 points.

c)Genius! What better way to flash your morals than by replacing your plain old wedding vows that kept you together for thirty years with the newly legislated Consecrated Wedding Vows which make it harder to get divorced. But it is the sports arena that is the perfect touch. The Huckabees could have exchanged their vows in a church, in a garden, or even in the Governor's mansion. But doing it in a sports arena! What guy wouldn't get married in a sports arena if allowed? New vows...20 points. Sports arena...30 points. Total...50 points.

Category 3 Previous Occupation
a) President of the United States (two terms)
b) Action Adventure Movie Star
c) Governor of Arkansas

Answers:
a) Ooo as powerful as the President is, he is going to find that "two term limit" difficult to overcome. It takes a lot of time and political clout to get a constitutional amendment passed. Still, it might just be possible what with the Democrats having their own Big Dog to run. But it won't happen before 2008. Total points...Sorry you lose. But try again later.

b) Nothing wrong with being a movie star, especially an action adventure star with a little comedy thrown in. Message? "I'm tough, but I don't take myself too seriously" Plus add to that the whole famous face thing. Instant recognition...30 points.

c) It's been said that the only presidential candidates electable in today's political climate are Governors from Southern States. If so, Governor Huckabee is a shoo-in. Arkansas Governorship...100 points.

Category 4 Birthplace
a) Be born to a wealthy Connecticut family but move to Texas and work hard to acquire a Texas accent.
b) Be born to a poor Austrian family but work very hard to become a wealthy American.
c) Be born to a Southern Family. Work hard to keep your Southern accent. Write a book entitled Character is the Issue.

a) You have to give President Bush lots of points for overcoming his non-deprived background. Nothing is more American then the Great State of Texas. Total...30 points.

b) Governor Schwarzenegger played the cards he was dealt with perfectly. Americans love the "pulling yourself up by your own bootstrap" stuff. Still there is that pesky non-native problem. Amending the constitution is hard work (see above) and it won't happen by 2008. Total....You lose. Please try again later.

c) A huntin, fishin, guitar playin, southerner who has written 3 books? Get out of here. Huckabee can't lose!...Literate Good Ol Boy...100 points.

There you have it. Bush and Schwarzenegger both seem to be non-starters and Huckabee is pulling away. Is it too early to start placing bets? Sure. A dark horse could appear on the horizon. But I would put a little money down right now on Huckabee to finish in the top.