Blind Date Accessories
In Newark, NJ a young woman had already cleared airport security and was waiting to board her plane, when she discovered she had forgotten to take a butcher knife out of her purse.
Now many so-called "serious" journalists are going to focus on the security breach. It does seem ironic that while screeners are busy confiscating our nail clippers and cuticle scissors, in this case they somehow managed to overlook a butcher knife. The screener responsible for this particular snafu was sent for retraining but sadly, a quick on-line search using the words "Newark" "knife" and "airport" brings up numerous cases of airport security overlooking knives. My favorite story is the guy who sat onboard the plane awaiting takeoff, passing the time by calmly peeling an apple with his knife when the flight attendant suddenly took notice. Knife Boy was arrested and taken off the plane in handcuffs. I guess the situation had passed the point of simple confiscation.
But I think the real story is how this woman could forget she had a butcher knife in her purse. Katrina Bell, 27, had put the knife in her purse earlier in the week because she was going on a blind date and wanted it "just in case." My feeling is if you are taking a butcher knife on a date "just in case" then maybe you ought to just stay home.
Now admittedly it has been a while since I went on a date, but there are some basics you never forget. So here is my guide to :
Blind Date Accessories
Things to bring:
Lipstick
I.D.
Mad Money
Cell Phone
Pepper Spray
Things to leave at home:
Kitchen utensils
Drug sniffing dog
Betsy Wetsy Doll collection
Tinfoil hat
Photo album from your first wedding
Weapons grade plutonium
Mother's cremains
Fake vomit
Surgical instruments
Sponge mop and rubber gloves
Ground-to-air missiles
Now many so-called "serious" journalists are going to focus on the security breach. It does seem ironic that while screeners are busy confiscating our nail clippers and cuticle scissors, in this case they somehow managed to overlook a butcher knife. The screener responsible for this particular snafu was sent for retraining but sadly, a quick on-line search using the words "Newark" "knife" and "airport" brings up numerous cases of airport security overlooking knives. My favorite story is the guy who sat onboard the plane awaiting takeoff, passing the time by calmly peeling an apple with his knife when the flight attendant suddenly took notice. Knife Boy was arrested and taken off the plane in handcuffs. I guess the situation had passed the point of simple confiscation.
But I think the real story is how this woman could forget she had a butcher knife in her purse. Katrina Bell, 27, had put the knife in her purse earlier in the week because she was going on a blind date and wanted it "just in case." My feeling is if you are taking a butcher knife on a date "just in case" then maybe you ought to just stay home.
Now admittedly it has been a while since I went on a date, but there are some basics you never forget. So here is my guide to :
Blind Date Accessories
Things to bring:
Lipstick
I.D.
Mad Money
Cell Phone
Pepper Spray
Things to leave at home:
Kitchen utensils
Drug sniffing dog
Betsy Wetsy Doll collection
Tinfoil hat
Photo album from your first wedding
Weapons grade plutonium
Mother's cremains
Fake vomit
Surgical instruments
Sponge mop and rubber gloves
Ground-to-air missiles
3 Comments:
I was so tickled pink to find this that I asked laura jane for permission to reproduce it. She said "yes", so yippee, here it is.
It's a total hoot.
first of all to who this may concern i read your article about the knife i am from newark n.j maybe you are from idaho somewhere for your concern it was a steak knife and i carried it not for a date i was alone that night meeting with friends walking late night, the focus is how and the fuck airline sercurity miss something like that, if you understood the story you would have read i reported they missed it, me being honest enough instead of you reading about a womens honesty you could have been reading about some other person trying to hijack a plane it could have been anyone with the wrong motive, because i am woman enough i put myself out there to be laugh at just trying to be honest about something i foget to remove and not intend to go on a plane with , just like a person carry mase i had a knife steak knife mind you because of how bad the streets are remember i got through sercurity i didn't have to say anything but because i made an honest mistake i reported it you heard my story because i went to the media about it the media made a circus out of it , there was no blind date i was meeting friends out late , i made airport sercurity more safe by an honest mistake so thank me and please don't humiliate you people joke about the wrong shit, so the next time you fly pray people are as honest as me in regard to 9/11 i wish someone was honest that day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! accessorize that.
Hello Anonymous, I'm actually surprised you spelled that correctly, but hey, we all make mistakes! Oh my aren't we paranoid! And, to tell the truth I thought the story was much more amusing when it was a butcher knife and a woman going on a blind date! Trust me, you aren't famous so no need to freak! I only pray that if you are lucky enough to go on a blind date, THEY bring a weapon. RELAX LADY
Post a Comment
<< Home