1313 Mockingbird Lane

A few years ago, David built me a rose arbor and like so many thoughtless actions of men this resulted in unforeseen tragedy: Unspeakable horrors are being rained down upon a beloved member of this family. Mick the cat, a once proud figure who was master of all he surveyed, has now become the target of terrorist attacks.

The rose arbor, you see, was advertised far and wide among the bird community as a penthouse suite conveniently located between high wires and within an easy commute to two birdfeeders. Several mockingbirds applied and the location became the primary residence for the toughest bird on the block. Alas for Mick, the rose arbor overlooks the petdoor. Now his every foray into fresh air is marked with bloody battle.

Admittedly, inside the house, Mick's primary job is wind-up toy for the Bulldog which is a humble position. It is outside where he reigns. In the untrammelled wilderness of the one third acre of suburbia we like to call Home, he is King of the Vole Hunt, Lord of the Grasshoppers, and owner/proprietor of Mick's Fish Pond and Sun Bathing Spa. But Mick is no match for those merciless terrorists. For Mick, Spring is marked on the calendar with a Code Burgundy : Stay indoors unless accompanied by a bulldog or human being.

Fortunately my mere presence on the porch has up until now ensured him safe passage. But an alarming report from our Raleigh newspaper states that downtown mockingbirds have been seen attacking people. "Three birds have occupied a bush opposite the state Capitol and attacked dozens of pedestrians" (The News & Observer 05-06-05) One man, in fact, fell to the ground-- driven down by a blow to the back of his head. So far our own particular mockingbirds seem to be content with harassing Mick, but I am on my guard. I figure once they start going for Fanny the bulldog, my turn will be next. Ceaseless vigilance is the order of the day. I am calling it Code Burnt Sienna: No real danger to myself at the present, but rumor has it that there might be some danger at some point in the unspecified future.

Meanwhile an unidentified member of the Mockingbird Community who wishes to remain anonymous claims that the birds have called a Code Prussian Blue: Known terrorist baby killer in the neighborhood; defend yourselves and your homes with no mercy.