Pillow Talk
My Pillow, Lumpy, was thrilled to see his compadres had made the news, specifically an article in The New York Times entitled A Dream Room May Depend on the Pillow (7-74-05) about how pillows have become so important to luxury hotels that one place in Seattle has 16 choices on their “Pillow Menu.”
16 kinds of pillows! Do we live in a great country, or what! Back in the Dark Ages they struggled to make do with 3 choices: hard (pillows stuffed with rocks) soft (pillows stuffed with lard) and hypoallergenic (pillows stuffed with nothing.) Some of the fancier castles might also offer cold (pillows stuffed with ice) and hot (pillows stuffed with boiling oil.) But your average peasant was happy to have his Econo Brand (pillows stuffed with dirt.) Now we have so many choices that we have to have a “Sleep Concierge” explain them to us.
This is a new profession to me. I was trying to imagine the training classes one would need in order to specialize as a Sleep Concierge. History of Mattresses, surely. Higher Thread Count Mathematics. Sheet Tucking 101. I imagine a Sleep Concierge would say something like, “To obtain a light, but fruitful 7 hour sleep with minimal tossing I would recommend the 1997 Egyptian Cotton 800 thread count sheet set in a restful Ecru topped with a swan’s down comforter encased in gold damask.”
The article concludes by quoting an hotel employee:
“We get a lot of requests for the NASA memory pillow because people have seen it advertised on TV,” he said. But guests rarely order the buckwheat hull pillow. “It’s a nice pillow, but it sounds too healthy,” Mr Mattstedt said. “People come here for a good time.”
Lumpy is very reassured by that statement. There never was a more unhealthy pillow than my 25 year old friend stuffed these days mostly with the merest memories of goose down. No wonder I have so many good times in my bedroom. Thanks, Lumpy.
16 kinds of pillows! Do we live in a great country, or what! Back in the Dark Ages they struggled to make do with 3 choices: hard (pillows stuffed with rocks) soft (pillows stuffed with lard) and hypoallergenic (pillows stuffed with nothing.) Some of the fancier castles might also offer cold (pillows stuffed with ice) and hot (pillows stuffed with boiling oil.) But your average peasant was happy to have his Econo Brand (pillows stuffed with dirt.) Now we have so many choices that we have to have a “Sleep Concierge” explain them to us.
This is a new profession to me. I was trying to imagine the training classes one would need in order to specialize as a Sleep Concierge. History of Mattresses, surely. Higher Thread Count Mathematics. Sheet Tucking 101. I imagine a Sleep Concierge would say something like, “To obtain a light, but fruitful 7 hour sleep with minimal tossing I would recommend the 1997 Egyptian Cotton 800 thread count sheet set in a restful Ecru topped with a swan’s down comforter encased in gold damask.”
The article concludes by quoting an hotel employee:
“We get a lot of requests for the NASA memory pillow because people have seen it advertised on TV,” he said. But guests rarely order the buckwheat hull pillow. “It’s a nice pillow, but it sounds too healthy,” Mr Mattstedt said. “People come here for a good time.”
Lumpy is very reassured by that statement. There never was a more unhealthy pillow than my 25 year old friend stuffed these days mostly with the merest memories of goose down. No wonder I have so many good times in my bedroom. Thanks, Lumpy.