Peas of Mind in a Can

Some months ago, I started buying a few extra cans of food each week to add to the back pantry. I laughingly refer to this as "my bomb shelter." The rules are: while shopping for groceries, if I find food that we like and it is on sale and it comes in a can, I buy a few extra. Simple. I'm not sure why I started, it may be all the talk of bird flu or the memory of the last ice storm when we had no power and couldn't leave the house for 5 days, but it has already paid off. Last Saurday night when we decided to make nachos for our midnight snack, I remembered I had refried beans in the bomb shelter. And last Tuesday when I found I had forgotten an ingredient for my chicken and dumplings dinner, I remembered there was the necessary can of LeSeur baby peas stockpiled.

I've tried to keep this lighthearted ("Honey, if the enraged aliens enslave all the non-tatooed people in Garner, would you rather your last meal be Spaghetti-Os or Beef-A-Roni?) but I think my lack of purpose has confused my husband. He has merrily gone about choosing "a soup you wouldn't mind eating cold" but he recently confessed to a co-worker he wasn't sure why I was doing this. Now that's true love-- going along with your spouse's wacky schemes without knowing why.

However, it turns out my government thinks I should be taking this a bit more seriously:

Secretary of Health and Human Services Michael Leavitt recommended that Americans start storing canned tuna and powdered milk under their beds as the prospect of a deadly bird flu outbreak approaches the United States.

Also, Robert Webster, world-renowned virologist , consultant to the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases says:

The average person should be prepared to live in their family unit for three months. You have to have food, dried food, resources to live for 3 months in your unit. And so that's the maximum we can do.

Three months? The Mormans go one step further and suggest a plan for stockpiling food for a year.

The only problem with the Morman plan is it relies on a source of energy to cook those 10 boxes of macaroni and cheese, and that 700lbs of flour and 6 lbs of dried yeast. These aren't supplies for an ice storm scenerio. This seems more like supplies for a battle siege. A few other differences between my plan and the Morman plan:

The Laura Jane Plan Completely fish free.

The Morman Plan Ends up with 15 cans of tuna.

The Laura Jane Plan No worries about pantry moth or mouse infestation.

The Morman Plan 700 lbs of Flour!

The Laura Jane Plan Only requires the use of one arm to wield a can opener.

The Morman Plan You are going to what exactly with the 700 lbs of wheat, 6 lbs of dried yeast and 6 lbs of shortening?

The Laura Jane Plan I haven't actually found any "Cookies in a Can" so it is a little light on sweets.

The Morman Plan 240 lbs of sugar AND 10 lbs of honey.

The Laura Jane Plan Has nothing for headaches.

The Morman Plan Budgets 500 aspirin for two adults for one year.

The Laura Jane Plan Since I am so drawn to cans of beans, provides for lots of farting which could be entertaining if nbothing else.

The Morman Plan No beans at all.

At least we both agree that peanut butter is the food of choice for people under attack.